to belong you have to be missed

Scottish theologian and Registered Nurse, John Swinton suggests that inclusion in a community is never enough. He believes, rather, that people need to belong, and the surest way to know you belong somewhere is if you are missed. The truth of this has played out over and over again in the past few weeks and months.

Here are some of examples of how we are missing each other right now.

One friend came by our pick-up window with a new badminton racket and suggested that we could play a game after this whole pandemic passes. 

Another very good friend extended an invitation to pizza dinner once everything gets back to ‘normal.’

Many folks have been brainstorming with me about how best to get back inside, once public health allows it.

As a neighbourhood community we are missing each other a lot right now. We miss sitting around a table together. We miss lingering for more than one cup of coffee each day. We miss so many things, but mostly we miss having proper visits with each other.

The past two months have affirmed for me the truth of Swinton’s conviction: as a community made up of individuals at Capital City Mission, we feel we belong because we miss and are missed. When someone isn’t present, another asks me about them. Those most at risk and shut up in small bachelor apartments are daily being asked after, “Have you heard from so and so?” and “This must be such a hard time for such and such.”

All this “missing” tells me that people feel they belong here.

To belong you have to be missed. And we are missing each other.

-Keltie